As much as I hate to admit it, what Neha&Kells said today was totally true- I say I want to give up, but deep (or not so deep) inside me, I don't really try cos I don't really want to give up. Epiphany.
Today, but for the KFC makan with friends, sucked ass. After hearing what Zahra told me today during one of the breaks, &especially after the whole epiphany before Yoong's lesson, I'm done. Since Neha&Kells have now started their Operation If-Rachel-Says-The-Word-"Person"-We-Will-Whack-Her-Half-To-Death, I suppose I will really be going cold turkey this time. It's just not worth it, Not Worth It. I've said this before, wonder if anyone will actually believe in me.
I suppose that's what friends are for.
I suck at these things, I really do. I don't get why I hope for things when I know they won't happen, then I just end up getting myself upset. &I never seem to learn, which sucks all the more.
I used to just get angry whenever I felt angry, now I just keep it all inside until I can't take it anymore&I get these rather aggressive urges- it scares even me sometimes. From one end of the spectrum to the other- it can't possibly be good.
These are the days where I feel like absolute fuck- they're coming with greater frequency.
LOVE,
7:09 PM