Good day sunlight,
I'd like to say how truly bright you are.
LOVE,
11:32 PM
random thoughts:
1. need to find a way to get my ass out of bed by 9am on weekends so I can actually get a seat in the library, and therefore actually mug on weekends.
2. only have a week or so to find my prom dress. I don't want to get stuck with a dress I don't really like/find that someone else is wearing the same thing as me.
3. need to study like mad on the weekdays because my weekends are generally unproductive without the library.
4. want a pair of coolass nike dunks, preferably air force ones (for women, of course). which I'm so not going to have money for until next year, due to prom, holiday, and christmas.
5. still very stressed about my unproductive weekends. crying over spilt milk much.
"OH, WOE IS ME, WOE IS ME!"
hahaha(:
11:32 PM
1. need to find a way to get my ass out of bed by 9am on weekends so I can actually get a seat in the library, and therefore actually mug on weekends.
2. only have a week or so to find my prom dress. I don't want to get stuck with a dress I don't really like/find that someone else is wearing the same thing as me.
3. need to study like mad on the weekdays because my weekends are generally unproductive without the library.
4. want a pair of coolass nike dunks, preferably air force ones (for women, of course). which I'm so not going to have money for until next year, due to prom, holiday, and christmas.
5. still very stressed about my unproductive weekends. crying over spilt milk much.
"OH, WOE IS ME, WOE IS ME!"
hahaha(:
LOVE,
10:14 PM
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thank you all for tonight- it was brilliant and greatly needed and happiness inducing:
The Epic Fails (like democratic elections and autocratic rule),
T-Rex back rides (that only succeeded for me!),
waiting around the fitness area for 7.02 so that we can start eating Pattaya Rice (cost savings, going towards Amillin's Greece Fund!),
eating whilst watching the sky and enjoying the breeze and the madness that is Seth and G ("combined age of 2", says Kell),
walking around the track- once anti-clockwise, once clockwise,
slacking around and talking and laughing so hard I was literally tired after.
-
Thank you all (like everyone, not just the people who were there tonight), not just for all the madness, but for all the love (:
For always being there for me in your own quirky (ie. unique) ways, like offering to do things I shall not name, big big hugs that I secretly love even though I really cannot breathe, and just telling me sincere and really encouraging things that make me feel better about myself. I really, really appreciate it, and I'm so, so blessed to have you guys around <3
-
I hope, and I believe- everything happens for a reason, and it will all fall into place in the end. I know where I stand, I know what I must do, and I know I can do this, and I'm not alone.
(:
*must remember all this whenever I get emo-bouts. Very Important!!!
10:14 PM
The Epic Fails (like democratic elections and autocratic rule),
T-Rex back rides (that only succeeded for me!),
waiting around the fitness area for 7.02 so that we can start eating Pattaya Rice (cost savings, going towards Amillin's Greece Fund!),
eating whilst watching the sky and enjoying the breeze and the madness that is Seth and G ("combined age of 2", says Kell),
walking around the track- once anti-clockwise, once clockwise,
slacking around and talking and laughing so hard I was literally tired after.
-
Thank you all (like everyone, not just the people who were there tonight), not just for all the madness, but for all the love (:
For always being there for me in your own quirky (ie. unique) ways, like offering to do things I shall not name, big big hugs that I secretly love even though I really cannot breathe, and just telling me sincere and really encouraging things that make me feel better about myself. I really, really appreciate it, and I'm so, so blessed to have you guys around <3
-
I hope, and I believe- everything happens for a reason, and it will all fall into place in the end. I know where I stand, I know what I must do, and I know I can do this, and I'm not alone.
(:
*must remember all this whenever I get emo-bouts. Very Important!!!
LOVE,
10:39 PM
i'm in another Emo mood; happy post that i was mentally-writing in my head will not transalte to typed letters, so it shall be saved for another day, or another place (shit, Boey Kim Cheng much- pfft).
anyway, they seem to be coming more often now, and in fuller force than they used to. i can feel really strong and completely steady, goal in mind and ready to work for it; the next moment i'll be sunken and demoralised, wondering if Hope stole Confidence when it ran off.
i hate being in these Emo moods. haven't done GP; shall do it in the library tomorrow and hand it in to her to mark&meet her another time. debating between studying Lit or Econs, or both. shall decide tomorrow morning.
i guess the little things bug me the most cos the little things matter the most to me. it's the reason i'm happy and optimistic most of the time. but i suppose everything needs to be equalled out; can't be happy forever. or maybe i need to find joy in the littler things.
should take advice: find a softball bat&a tree to whack til the bark flies off. i'd rather shoot clay pigeons with a rifle to hear the clanging as the porcelain shatters and feel the recoil of the gun and feel some sense of satisfaction derived from destruction, but i don't think that's realistic (and is slightly scary, too, though rather cool if you think about it).
right. i think the best thing to do is take another piece of advice&sleep, hoping at least zen will return tomorrow.
10:39 PM
anyway, they seem to be coming more often now, and in fuller force than they used to. i can feel really strong and completely steady, goal in mind and ready to work for it; the next moment i'll be sunken and demoralised, wondering if Hope stole Confidence when it ran off.
i hate being in these Emo moods. haven't done GP; shall do it in the library tomorrow and hand it in to her to mark&meet her another time. debating between studying Lit or Econs, or both. shall decide tomorrow morning.
i guess the little things bug me the most cos the little things matter the most to me. it's the reason i'm happy and optimistic most of the time. but i suppose everything needs to be equalled out; can't be happy forever. or maybe i need to find joy in the littler things.
should take advice: find a softball bat&a tree to whack til the bark flies off. i'd rather shoot clay pigeons with a rifle to hear the clanging as the porcelain shatters and feel the recoil of the gun and feel some sense of satisfaction derived from destruction, but i don't think that's realistic (and is slightly scary, too, though rather cool if you think about it).
right. i think the best thing to do is take another piece of advice&sleep, hoping at least zen will return tomorrow.
LOVE,
12:29 AM
Sunday, September 21, 2008
for those-
<3
you guys are precious(:
12:29 AM
who gave up their break to stay with me at the fourth floor in the sweltering heat,
who messaged me at night to check up on me,
who very bravely offered to do all sorts of things that I shan't mention,
who actually did things that I shan't mention,
who gave me great big koala hugs or kodak-worthy smiles full of love-
<3
you guys are precious(:
Somehow everything's gonna fall right into place;
If we only had a way to make it all fall faster everyday.
LOVE,
6:31 PM
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
E M O .
feeling very crappy of a sudden. after everyone left and i stayed back to try and finish up some work, thinking i would get some sense of satisfaction out of it. but, yah, none.
my appetite's been on the fritz and i'm starting to get freaked out by it. apparently you can't be a skinny diabetic (induced by not eating much, and eating only snacks when i do eat), but still, there's the possibility of severe gastric. omg i don't want the lining of my stomach to errode, that's just freaky. and probably really unhealthy too.
then there's my results, which aren't up to par. i'm stuck somewhere between wanting to give up and wanting to work really hard. but when i try to work hard, it results in [read first paragraph].
and then there's the other stuff.
i hope this is just stress-induced, panick-stricken pms. though i really don't think so. gah negativity, negativity.
SHUN THE NON-BELIEVER, SHUN!!!
6:31 PM
feeling very crappy of a sudden. after everyone left and i stayed back to try and finish up some work, thinking i would get some sense of satisfaction out of it. but, yah, none.
my appetite's been on the fritz and i'm starting to get freaked out by it. apparently you can't be a skinny diabetic (induced by not eating much, and eating only snacks when i do eat), but still, there's the possibility of severe gastric. omg i don't want the lining of my stomach to errode, that's just freaky. and probably really unhealthy too.
then there's my results, which aren't up to par. i'm stuck somewhere between wanting to give up and wanting to work really hard. but when i try to work hard, it results in [read first paragraph].
and then there's the other stuff.
i hope this is just stress-induced, panick-stricken pms. though i really don't think so. gah negativity, negativity.
SHUN THE NON-BELIEVER, SHUN!!!
LOVE,
9:14 PM
Monday, September 15, 2008
Wild Horses I want to be like you
I want to run with the Wild Horses
-Wild Horses,
9:14 PM
All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but not feel scared
Wild Horses I want to be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love
Like I'm longing to
I want to run with the Wild Horses
-Wild Horses,
Natasha Bedingfield
LOVE,
10:50 PM
Sunday, September 14, 2008
10:50 PM
I will not let myself.
I cannot let myself.
LOVE,
2:47 PM
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Cancelled outing with Neha&passed up on movie with Yixiang, shall just stay at home&slack today. Don't know why I just don't feel like doing much, maybe it's the accumulation of exhaustion from having lots of fun.
GAH.
Not complaining though(:
My friends are hyperactive on Facebook, it's quite funny&really amusing!
2:47 PM
GAH.
Not complaining though(:
My friends are hyperactive on Facebook, it's quite funny&really amusing!
LOVE,
1:24 PM
So we carried those 10 balloons around town, trying not to bump anyone with them (obviously failing quite a few times). Finally, after everything was done, we ended up at some staircase that the boys found&just slacked there til it was time to go off.
1:24 PM
HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY
NUR MASTURA AYU!
<3
Her birthday came during the time with Prelims&Ramadhan, so our elaborate plans had to be shelved away. But we still had a really good time, and most importantly, the Birthday Girl's really happy too!
&that's all that really matters in the end. :D we love you babe!
Helmi, Asraf, Dee&I met up to get the final touches done. These boys are pretty inefficient, but not bad lah at least Asraf was willing to carry the pink&red balloons around. Helmi was mostly emo-ing- we assume it was due to hunger.
Us wearing the extremely girly (&overpriced) hairband.
So we carried those 10 balloons around town, trying not to bump anyone with them (obviously failing quite a few times). Finally, after everything was done, we ended up at some staircase that the boys found&just slacked there til it was time to go off.
Got the seats at Heeren's Fish&Co. (I didn't know there was one there), and started decorating her seating area with the balloons&various presents!
The VIP Seat, damn pink.
Dee&I with the very, very expensive board. I know it doesn't look like it costed a lot to make, but believe me, it took both time&effort. But it's for our BFF, so duh, it was completely worth sitting in Lido and looking kinda nutty!
the girls&the guys(:
GROUP SHOTS!
<3
-
In the end, they're always the ones that keep me alive. They remind me of how fun life can be if I just let it, to not take myself too seriously&just let loose. Cos I know I can be completely kooky around them&they'll still laugh with me; it's almost as if it doesn't matter if the rest of the world thinks we're completely insane, as long as we're happy, we're happy. &I miss that, I miss these people that I grew up/am growing up with.
I'm really happy that we all still keep in contact&try to meet up despite our busy schedules. Mas said that Asyraf told her that he thinks we'll all be friends forever. &as cliche as that sounds, I actually really believe that could be totally true.
LOVE,
12:17 AM
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Please, Please, Please don't ever watch Make It Happen. It's so unbelievably boring we basically just ended up having to add our own commentary to make it slightly more bearable. The dancing was good, but way too infrequent, and the rest of the movie was made up of very bad cliches. But catching up with Nic is never boring, since we're completely loud&we accumulate interesting stories to share with great enthusiasm (&exaggeration).
But, still, bad bad movie. Lucky he paid since he just got rich from selling an Ipod.
Anyways,
PRELIMS ARE OVER!!!
I was torn between sheer panick and relief when the ultra-tall dude said "Fifteen minutes left!" But now I'm glad it's over. Source A was funny, sign a super important agreement that many formal meetings couldn't solve over a bowl of noodles. Nice. Wonder if I can put that into my essay.
12:17 AM
But, still, bad bad movie. Lucky he paid since he just got rich from selling an Ipod.
Anyways,
PRELIMS ARE OVER!!!
I was torn between sheer panick and relief when the ultra-tall dude said "Fifteen minutes left!" But now I'm glad it's over. Source A was funny, sign a super important agreement that many formal meetings couldn't solve over a bowl of noodles. Nice. Wonder if I can put that into my essay.
LOVE,
10:57 PM
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Cannot. Wait. For. Prelims. To. End.
1.
need to meet the secsch buddies at Tuala's birthday,
hopefully go up to Mt. Faber with the girls,
and meet Nic&Zach for a movie -- which Zach will pick, since Nic always chooses the lousy horror flicks&I pick the musicals&such, which they don't appreciate.
Unless Zach does an MIA, in which case...
2.
was talking to Nic about the old times during PAE with OG2&FB which were like really brilliant. fast forward to a little more than a year, and here we are, trying to keep each other alive through the prelims via stupid videos of Charlie and the Candy Mountain.
3.
life's not going wonderfully, but it's good enough. i'll get by with a little (or a lot of) help from my friends, keep my head above the water&try to stay positive -- hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.
but, still, hoping for the best.
10:57 PM
1.
need to meet the secsch buddies at Tuala's birthday,
hopefully go up to Mt. Faber with the girls,
and meet Nic&Zach for a movie -- which Zach will pick, since Nic always chooses the lousy horror flicks&I pick the musicals&such, which they don't appreciate.
Unless Zach does an MIA, in which case...
2.
was talking to Nic about the old times during PAE with OG2&FB which were like really brilliant. fast forward to a little more than a year, and here we are, trying to keep each other alive through the prelims via stupid videos of Charlie and the Candy Mountain.
3.
life's not going wonderfully, but it's good enough. i'll get by with a little (or a lot of) help from my friends, keep my head above the water&try to stay positive -- hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.
but, still, hoping for the best.
LOVE,
12:30 PM
Saturday, September 06, 2008
12:30 PM
(This hauntingly reminds me of how Nad once said Jap videos are the closest we'll get to these romantic things. Except it's Korean.)
LOVE,
11:12 PM
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
11:12 PM
LOVE,
8:43 PM
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
<3
8:43 PM
<3
"Because everyone deserves a second chance, and everyone fights."
- Sage Evil Cow God, Neha Gautam (:
LOVE,
8:47 PM
8:47 PM